I’m heading to Mexico today for a retreat with a group of inspiring fellow creative entrepreneurs. I’ve been looking forward to this all year. But one unanticipated consequence: I’m going to miss the Oscars!
As you may remember from last year, Oscars Night is one of my favorite holidays. Stuffing your face with pirate’s booty popcorn and other pun-y dishes while watching starlettes parade (and fall) in their size 2 gowns is one of my favorite masochistic delights. This year the Best Picture category gave me a lot of regional things to work with for my hypothetical Oscar party food. But I tried to have a little fun with wordsmith ideas and the copious amounts of drugs and alcohol consumed by this year’s leading actors on screen.
Below are my Oscar dish ideas inspired by this year’s favorite critics’ picks.
1. American Hustle: American Bru-stle Sprout Toasts
In case you don’t have any 70’s dishes up your sleeve (or under your comb-over), you can always make these American Bru-stle Sprouts. At least they’re not made in the microwave.
2. Captain Phillips: Somali Pirate’s Booty
This popcorn is coated with garam masala, which includes a lot of the native spices in Somalian cooking…at least according to Wikipedia.
3. Dallas Buyer’s Club: Tex-Mex Cowboy Casserole
This cheesy meaty casserole would have been just what the lead character in Dallas Buyer’s Club wanted for dinner (with a side of whiskey and hookers) before he wised up and switched to green juice and supplements.
4. Gravity: Gravitinis
This cocktail may not contain moonshine, but if you drink enough of them, your body will most likely lose its sense of gravity.
5. Her: iOS’mores Sundaes
These Sundaes are served in individual martini glasses, just in case you want to share the second one with your OS…and eat it for her. And then pour some vodka in the glass and drink away your loneliness.
6. 12 Years a Slave: Crunchy Black-Eyed Peas
These crunchy black eyed peas are the perfect southern finger food for your viewing party, and much easier to make than the less PC option, Cotton Candy.
7. Wolf of Wall Street: Lude Lasagna
I wouldn’t actually recommend putting ludes in your lasagna. But I didn’t have any recipe options that included copious amounts of powdered sugar and/or straws.
8. Nebraska (not pictured): Omaha Steaks with Corn Salad
Your guests may not was to drink their dinner, as the protagonist in Nebraska surely did. So why not serve some classics from the heartland of America?
9. Philomena (not pictured): Shepherd’s Pie
Anything Irish will work here, unless of course you want to whip up a dessert with Philo-mena dough. It’s hard to make a meal out of just body of Christ wafers.