There are lots of times as a busy New Yorker, when the subway inexplicably just skips my stop or the line for Trader Joe’s wraps around the block, that I have to take a breath and ask myself: “what would my calm twin do right now?”
Stress is one of the most corrosive things on the body. And being complicated emotional beings, alleviating it is a deeply individual and complex process. It’s become apparent from the hours I spend zoning out on the couch in front of The Voice, or with my face planted in the cradle of a Korean nail salon’s massage chair, that my current system of unwinding does very little to help me relax on a deeper level.
I’m a Scorpio and an only child and a Jew, which has historically meant that I hold onto stuff. Resentment, anger, guilt, anxiety. You name the negativity, and chances are I have a hard time letting go of it. True relaxation involves clearing those cobwebs of bad emotion, which even in the most relaxing of settings – like a bath, sauna, or massage chair – can make your mind feel like it’s riding bitch in a Smart car between Chris Christie and Mama June.
Physical problems are endlessly driven by mental ailments, and vice versa. It’s becoming more widely researched and accepted that stress can fuel a variety of issues, including, as we learned from Dr. Amy Wechsler, bad skin. A mounting of this emotional tension can even cause an acute back attack.
In her book The Desire Map, Danielle LaPorte writes “life balance is a myth, and the pursuit of it is causing us more stress than the craving for balance itself.” Some of this month, as a point of reflection on all the experiments and accomplishments from my year of wellness, will be about finding a happy medium going forward—a way to fit de-stressing into my busy day without the scheduling of said de-stressing becoming a form of pressure in and of itself.
It seems only fair that I take on this relaxation challenge just as my manuscript deadline approaches, and my shoulders become ever more reminiscent of a balled up fist. For the rest of you following along, hopefully it comes at the perfect time to tackle the impending holiday crazies.
Read on for some of the new habits I’m going to try to integrate into my month so I don’t have a panic attack by Christmas.
From one healthy hedonist to another,
It only takes subscribing to a few entrepreneurship sites to know that every successful person in the world has a strict morning ritual that gets them out of bed early and powered up for world domination by 9am.
I’ve already made some small upgrades to my mornings. Before I started a smoothie practice during detox month, I rarely took the time to eat a homemade breakfast. In my former pre-wellness project life, I would descend from my sleeping loft, sit down at my computer and immediately start writing emails. It wasn’t uncommon to look up two hours later and realize that the coffee was still on the counter, and I was still in my underwear.
I’ve gotten better since then, of course. My month of sleep made me recommit to a firm wakeup time, which means hitting the snooze button is no longer the only constant in my morning routine. But I’ve struggled to decide where to go from there.
Unfortunately, I can’t just copy/paste Ariana Huffington’s morning rituals into my own life (though her book Thrive gives a good roadmap for doing so). There is no one size fits all approach to a morning routine. The whole point is to find practices that honor and feed your own sense of self.
When I asked experts my “one big question” at the beginning of this project, many people pointed towards small acts of mindfulness and self-tithing as their big piece of advice.
As my acupuncturist Heidi relayed, “we spend so much time renting out mental space to other people’s problems. Spending 10 percent of your day on yourself is like taking your soul vitamins.” Artist and writer Amber Rae said “that first sixty minutes sets the intention for your entire day, and it is often spent honoring other people’s needs and demands. (Cell phone and email first-thing in bed, anyone?)”
So I’m going to spend this month experimenting my way to the answer of what rituals will literally get me out of bed in the morning, and set me up to successfully tackle all the stress the rest of the day might bring.
*How to create a morning routine from Zen Habits
*The morning routines of successful titans of industry via Business Insider
A central part of many people’s morning routine is meditation.
There are more and more studies coming out about how meditation has the power to rewire your brain and boost overall vitality.
I finally started my practice earlier this summer (by taking this course in NYC) and saw some amazing early results.
The exhaustion I felt that first week as my body let go of a lifetime of stress was serious proof in the pudding. But a month in, I lost momentum. Travel has been the undoing of many of my wellness practices, and once I dropped a lot of my routines this summer, meditation became hard to reintegrate into my life.
This month I’m going to try not to let perfection be the enemy of good. While I’m going to try to meditate in the mornings for 20 minutes as part of my new AM routine, I’m also going to find other smaller ways to shift my intention throughout the day, pause and reflect.
Setting aside time for mindfulness can be as simple as turning one of your everyday activities into an opportunity to be present. I love the idea of making one of my mundane tasks like brushing my teeth or doing the dishes into an exercise in harnessing my mind. We’ll see if I’m actually able to do it.
Do you have a morning routine? If so, mind sharing what it looks and feels like? Any other great daily tactics you use to reduce stress in this crazy world of ours?
I’d love to hear about your experiences in the comments section!
The Wellness Project is a year-long blog series (and upcoming memoir) about how to find the balance between health and hedonism. To find out more about the inspiration behind the project and to get the monthly theme schedule, click here.