You may have noticed a bit of a void in my personal narrative. So I should probably address it.
After I returned from filming Chef Race, Josh and I decided to end our two-year relationship. It gave me another big jolt to spend my summer vacation recovering from, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t still very much in the middle of that process. It’s not often that you lose a best friend business partner, and a best friend partner partner all in the same year. But 2012 has been a bitch.
In the past, I’ve always turned to neutral foods to get me through the initial hump of tears – things like rice bowls with soy sauce, or any other bland item whose taste won’t remind me of heartache when I eat it months down the line. I made the mistake once of having Saigon Grill Eggplant to nurture a broken heart. Now, my favorite dish just tastes like a million saddie face emoticons.
I’m not writing this to make you feel sorry for me. The point I am getting to is that of all the things in my daily life the breakup has affected, my cooking has been the biggest one. It means a lot more Friday nights alone, cooking the types of tasty, semi-special meals I would ordinarily have been making for the two of us. It also means a lot of solo time on the couch eating said meals in front of the TV.
I haven’t always been the biggest turnip fan. They can be a little bit bitter if not prepared properly. But they might just be the perfect vegetable for a bittersweet night of learning how to cook and eat alone again. I made this hash as a bed for a nice salmon steak, which I enjoyed alongside a large glass of white wine while watching Mean Girls a couple Fridays ago. I’ve come to terms with the loser-dom of this mental image. That’s actually part of the sweet part, in my opinion.
I’m not at the place yet where I want to go out and put on a tight black dress and pretend to care. I’m still sad. And as always, my kind of breakup sad, is the kind that likes to eat. There’s also something empowering about fixing yourself an overindulgent meal – the kind that gets 25 likes on instagram and lots of jealousy comments.
Of course, you don’t need to be nursing any sort of bittersweet emotions in order to enjoy this hash. Make it as an interesting substitution for your regular Sunday breakfast with a fried egg. Or, if you’re my kind of gal, say F-you to the black dress, pour yourself a big glass of wine and make yourself a big bowl, just because you can.
Xo
Phoebe
p.s. what did everyone think of last night’s Chef Race episode? I’ll be back tomorrow with behind-the-scenes mental footage.
Basil Vinaigrette
Ingredients
- 1 garlic clove
- 1 cup loosely packed basil leaves
- 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
- Juice of 1 lemon
- 1 teaspoon honey
- 1/3 cup olive oil
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
Instructions
- Combine all the ingredients in a small food processor and puree until smooth.
- Season with salt and keep in an airtight container for up to 2 days.
If you make this, tag @phoebelapine and #feedmephoebe - I'd love to see it!
Turnip Hash with Basil Vinaigrette
Ingredients
Instructions
- In a large cast iron skillet, heat the olive oil over a high flame.
- Carefully add the turnips and potatoes to pan. Cook, stirring occasionally, until tender and dark browned on all sides, about 30 minutes. Add the onions, season with the paprika and salt. Turn the heat down to medium-low and saute for about 5 minutes, until translucent and sweet.
- To serve, spoon the hash onto plates, drizzle with the vinaigrette and top with coarsely torn basil leaves.
If you make this, tag @phoebelapine and #feedmephoebe - I'd love to see it!
wow! what a post. the recipe sounds delicious. the mental image of a solo dinner watching mean girls (did you purposely pick mean girls?) gut-wrenching, and the care you take in picking bland foods during this stage…poignant. beautiful, sad, brave, hopeful. well done.
take care of yourself…
Thank you Diane for your sweet note! I am definitely “ok,” so no worries there. And yes, Mean Girls is one of my favorite movies, and was on TV one of these Friday nights…can’t remember if it was exactly the turnip hash one. Appreciate you taking the time to read. If I start talking about Saturday nights home alone in front of the TV, then you can start to panic 🙂 xoxo p.s. your turnip mash sounds fab!
love this post, love you. I cant wait to make this and eat it wishing I were on the couch with you. xxx
wish you were here too! might be time to move my Friday night habits westward. Save me a seat with you and R! xoxo
there always room for Phoebe!
Aw, Phoebe. I am so sorry this year has been filled with so much hard stuff. Sending a big big hug. ps the turnip hash looks so tasty.
Thank you, Winne. All growing pains, I suppose 🙂 Lucky to have this site for writing therapy – coupled with cooking therapy, there’s no better remedy! Especially if said cooking therapy involves potatoes. Big hug right back.
Phoebe – so sorry to hear you’ve had a tough year. It is interesting how we associate certain foods with certain seasons in our life. I’m sure you’ll bounce back…meanwhile, watching Mean Girls with a bowl of this hash and a big glass of wine sounds like good therapy. Sending well wishes your way.
Thank you, Jeanette! It’s been excellent therapy. A dish to be made in happier times as well – sorry to be a downer! xo
There can be solace in being a alone for a while. So long as you don’t burst into your rendition of “All By Myself”! Avoid sweatpants. (Love the recipe – I’m a turnip fan)
No way. More like “I Will Survive!” Yes to the sweatpants though. But does it make it less pathetic if they are cashmere??